Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is defined as abuse committed against members of the same family, a spouse, former spouse, cohabitant, former cohabitant, a person with whom the offender has had a child, or is having or has had a dating or engagement relationship regardless of sexual orientation or between children and elderly parents.
Domestic violence may begin with angry words, a shove, or a slap, and may escalate into a pattern of assaultive controlling behaviors including physical, sexual, and psychological attacks against the victim, children, property, and/or pets.

Criminal domestic violence behaviors include hitting, choking, kicking, assault with a weapon, shoving, scratching, biting, rape, unwanted sexual touching, forcing sex with a third party, or violation of a valid Restraining Order. Degrading comments, interrogating family members, suicide threats/attempts, controlling victim’s time and activities, although not criminal, are also considered domestic violence behaviors.

Domestic violence is not an isolated, individual event. One battering episode builds on past episodes and sets the stage for future episodes. All incidents of the pattern interact with each other and have a profound effect on the victim. There is a wide range of consequences, some physically injurious and some not, but all are psychologically damaging.

Some acts of domestic violence even include sexual assault. A sexual assault may be by a stranger or a person known to the victim, including a husband, boyfriend, ex-husband, or ex-boyfriend. Sexual assault is a crime. Victims should notify the police immediately. A police officer will respond to conduct an investigation and collect evidence. Victims should keep all clothing worn during the assault and other evidence such as bed sheets. Officers will transport victims to the hospital for a free medical exam. Victims should not shower or douche before the exam.

Research has shown that this pattern of control and abuse increases in frequency and severity over time. It is estimated that one-fourth of all homicides in this country occurs within the family and one-half of these are husband-wife killings. Studies have shown that arrest, jail, probation, and Restraining Orders deter many abusers from physically abusing their partners.

If you become a victim of annoying phone calls and are a county resident, you should report them to the County Police Department. Your phone company may be able to assist in tracking the origin of the calls if they have a police report number. If you become a victim of threatening phone calls, report them to your local police department immediately. The County Police Department takes threatening calls serious, and so should you, especially if you are in a battering relationship or have been a victim of domestic violence.

You are not alone and many different kinds of help are available to you in your community. The St. Joseph county Police Department is concerned about your safety!

• A woman is beaten every 15 seconds.
• Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women between ages 15 and 44 in the United States.
• Battered women are more likely to suffer miscarriages and to give birth to babies with low birth weights.
• Sixty-three percent of the young men between the ages of 11 and 20 who are serving time for homicide have killed their mother’s abuser.

A woman is beaten every 15 seconds
Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women between ages 15 and 44 in the United States
Battered women are more likely to suffer miscarriages and to give birth to babies with low birth weights
Sixty-three percent of the young men between the ages of 11 and 20 who are serving time for homicide have killed their mother’s abuser

Battering is the establishment of control and fear in a relationship through violence and other forms of abuse. The batterer uses acts of violence and a series of behaviors, including intimidation, threats, psychological abuse, isolation, etc. to coerce and to control the other person. The violence may not happen often, but it remains as a hidden (and constant) terrorizing factor.
One in five women victimized by their spouses or ex-spouses report they had been victimized over and over again by the same person.

Women of all cultures, races, occupations, income levels, and ages are battered by husbands, boyfriends, lovers and partners
Approximately one-third of the men counseled (for battering) are professional men who are well respected in their jobs and their communities. These have included doctors, psychologists, lawyers, ministers, and business executives

Battered women are often severely injured. Twenty-two to thirty-five percent of the women who visit medical emergency rooms are there for injuries related to ongoing partner abuse
One in four pregnant women have a history of partner violence

If you are uncertain whether you or your children are being abused, take a moment to answer the following questions:
Does the person you love…

Intimidate you, make you feel isolated or alone
Frighten you with his/her temper
"Track" all of your time
Constantly accuse you of being unfaithful
Discourage your relationships with family and friends
Prevent you from working or attending group meetings or school
Criticize you for little things such as your cooking or appearance
Anger easily when drinking alcohol or taking drugs
Control all the finances and force you to account in detail for what you spend
Humiliate or degrade you in front of others by name-calling, putdowns, or accusations
Make frequent threats to withhold money, have an affair, or take away the children
Destroy personal property or sentimental items
Hit, punch, slap, kick, restrain, bite or throw things at you or the children
Use, or threaten to use, a weapon against you
Threaten to hurt you or the children
Force you to engage in sex against your will
Do you…

Give in because you are afraid of your partner’s reaction
Apologize to yourself or others for your partner’s behavior when you are treated badly
Experience a pattern of violence
If you answered "yes" to even a few of these questions, it’s time to get help!

There are no easy answers, but there are things you can do to protect yourself. The most important step is not ignoring the problem.

Important Steps You Can Take

Domestic violence relationships exhibit certain characteristics that differ from healthy, intimate relationships. Understanding the difference may be the key to recognizing the need to seek assistance.
Violent relationships usually do not begin with violence. Like normal, healthy couples, you begin with romance.

Romance
During this time, the batterer attempts to bond or connect with their partner. Domestic violence relationships never return to romance once the cycle begins. Domestic violence partners then proceed into the next phase of the Cycle of Violence, called the Tension Building Phase, which is marked by Power and Control.

Tension Building Phase
The batterer begins to assert his or her power over the victim in an attempt to control the victim’s actions. Batterers will set rules for the victim that are impossible to follow. They will tell the victim that there will be consequences if they break the rules. Sadly, the consequences usually result in violence against the victim. Rules often may include no contact with family members, money spending rules and/or needing to obtain permission for everything the victim does. Batterers use demeaning, degrading and derogatory phrases toward the victim in an attempt to "objectify" the victim. This is done because it is easier to commit violence against an "object" rather than someone you are supposed to love.
The victim may internalize the appropriate anger at the abuser’s unfairness and experience physical effects such as depression, tension, anxiety and headaches. As the tension in the relationship increases, minor episodes of violence increase, such as pinching, slapping or shoving.
The rules are nearly impossible to follow, but victims try to follow them in an attempt to forestall the inevitable assaults. The violation of the rules leads the couple into the next phase, Acute Battering Phase.

Acute Battering Incident
During this phase, the batterer exhibits uncontrolled violence outbursts. This is the shortest of the three but the most dangerous. Batterers decide to teach the victim a lesson and will usually injure the victim. The injuries may start out as minor such as a slap, a pinch, or hair pulling. As the cycle continues the violence becomes increasingly brutal and escalates into a great bodily injury or death.
If death does not occur, the victims usually react with shock, denial or disbelief and the cycle continues into the third phase The Acute Battering Phase ends in an explosion of violence. The victim may or may not fight back. Following the battering, the victim is in a state of physical and psychological shock. The batterer may discount the episode and underestimate the victim’s injuries.

Restraining Orders are court orders directing a violent person to stop harassing a victim or the victim’s children. They may be obtained without cost, and will be enforced by the Police Department.

Persons violating restraining orders may be arrested. Once a person obtains a valid Restraining Order from the court, the court clerk will notify the County Police. The victim should also meet with the detectives of the County Police and provide them with a photo or description of the person who is the subject of the court order.

Who Can Obtain A Restraining Order?

You can request a Restraining Order against the person who hurt or threatened you or other family members by appearing at the Superior Court located nearest to you.

A Restraining Order may be requested whether or not an arrest has been made or the Los Angeles Police Department has been called. You can also request a Restraining Order whether or not you have any relationship to the defendant.

An order may be obtained to:

Direct the attacker to leave the household
Prevent the attacker from entering the residence, school, business, or place of employment of the victim
Award the victim or other parent custody of, visitation with, a minor child or children
Restrain the attacker from molesting or interfering with minor children in the custody of the victim
Direct the party not granted custody to pay support of minor children, if that party has a legal obligation to do so
Direct the defendant to make specified debit payments coming due while the order is in effect and/or
Direct that either or both parties participate in counseling
A Domestic Violence Restraining Order is always free. In many courts free legal assistance is available or you can represent yourself.

What Can I Do to Obtain a Restraining Order?

Temporary Restraining Order (TRO) requests must be made through the Superior Court.

Note: Emergency Protection Orders (EPO) are available through the County Police Department on a 24 hour basis, and are valid for only 5 court days. In most cases an EPO is only issued when circumstances present a possibility of imminent and immediate danger to the victim.

The court tries to grant all TRO requests the same or next day. Once you have obtained a Restraining Order, the defendant must be served with a copy of the TRO. (Anyone over18 years of age except you can hand the Order to the defendant.) Once the defendant has been served a copy of the TRO, a Proof of Service and Law Enforcement Information form must be delivered to your local police station. You should retain the originals of all documents. In approximately three weeks, you must return to court to obtain an order that is valid for three years. This order must also be served to the defendant and copies delivered to the police station.

You may be ordered to see a mediator to try and work out visitation of any minor children involved. The law gives you the right to see the mediator ALONE, in a separate meeting. After any agreement with the mediator regarding visitation, be sure to return to court to obtain the three year restraining order which protects YOU!

Indiana Penal Code section ------ reads as follows:

"Any person who willfully inflicts upon his or her spouse, or any person who willfully inflicts upon any person with whom he or she is cohabiting, or any person who willfully inflicts upon any person who is the mother or father of his or her child, corporal injury resulting in a traumatic condition is guilty of a felony, and upon conviction thereof shall be punished by imprisonment in the state prison for two, three or four years, or in a county jail for not more that one year, or by a fine of up to six thousand dollars ($6000) or by both."

Domestic violence includes, but is not limited, to the following circumstances:

Physical - hitting or burning
Sexual - rape or incest
Emotional - threatening, insulting or harassing
Neglect - poor physical or emotional care

The Myth

Many people still believe in the myth that men are the only people capable of being abusive and women are the only people who suffer abuse. Characteristics of the classic abuser and victim may include the following:

Abuser

Does not change
Low self-esteem
Work related problems
Legal problems, fines or prior jail convictions for domestic violence

Victim

Suffers serious physical injury or death
Depression, low self-esteem, anxiety, helplessness and a sense of worthlessness
Work related problems, loss of job, picking up and/or letting go of certain habits

Abuser Traits

An abuser can be anybody from any walk of life. Some abusers have the following traits:

Has witnessed, or may have suffered abuse as children, causing abuse to be taught or a learned behavior
Desires power and to be in control
Low self-esteem
Violence against their victim gives them a sense of importance
Drug and/or alcohol problems
Mental or emotional problems
Abusers make excuses, such as "blaming" the abuse on other people or situations. Examples of "blaming" statements are as follows:

"I had a rough day at work and it's your fault"
"The boss gave me a demotion because of you"
Cycle of Violence

The first step of the cycle is the actual act of abuse, where the abuser metes out some form of violence.

The second step is the remorse period, where the abuser is sorry the incident occurred and apologizes for everything that occurred.

The third step is the dating period, where the couple is once again happy and everything seems wonderful. In actuality, the abusers tension level is building.

The fourth step is a repeat of the first step of the abuse. The cycle continues to repeat itself growing in ferocity each time.

Unreported Incidents

Incidents of domestic violence often go unreported by victims for the following reasons:

Victims do not realize they are in a dangerous and violent situation
Victims do not recognize the domestic violence signals
Victims feel ashamed, hopeless and are in denial
Victims sense they have no alternatives
Victims sense no one can protect them
Victims do not know what victim services are available or how they can obtain the services needed
Domestic Violence Prevention Tips

Watch for personality changes such as more aggressive, violent, moody or accusing behavior
Develop a plan of action and instruct your children about the plan
Locate a safe house such as the home of a trusted friend, trusted neighbor or family member
Locate a safe shelter that is suitable to your needs and accepts children
Begin counseling sessions
Emergency Protective Order (EPO)

Police officers at scene can obtain an Emergency Protective Order (EPO).

Good for five days
Can be served by any police officer, anytime of the day or evening
A police officer may use his/her own judgement and obtain an EPO if the victim is reluctant
Free of charge
Temporary Restraining Order (TRO), Restraining Order (RO), Domestic Violence Restraining Order (DVRO)

Victim must go to Superior Court
Good for three weeks
A Police Officer can serve
When an order has expired, it is the responsibility of the victim to reinstate the order
All orders are free of charge
Domestic Violence Victim Resources

Domestic Violence Safety Plan Hotline
Family Crisis Center
Domestic Violence